Porter Macallen

Timing. I talk about this a lot. I have endless stories about how God has revealed His magic, His protection, and His truth through the simple concept of timing in my life. Actually, as I write this, I am getting updates from my fifth birth client of the week, confirming plans for her early morning induction that will take place tomorrow.  Five births in one week. 

To my clients, the timing of their little baby's arrivals this week could not be more perfect and exciting. As for me, it has been beautiful and equally chaotic. But, as I was driving home from Wesley Medical Center last night, it hit me. The timing of these births is not by chance. Seeing these fresh little babies, hearing their cries, and watching them latch for the first time has wrapped me with a sense of healing I've yearned for since late September. Five little babies with due dates ranging from end of October to middle of December --  all born in the same week. Timing. Healing. 

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It has been 43 days since our friends lost their baby boy. I remember every single detail, every hour, every tear. I remember squeezing Jo's hand while standing in a room of brokenness. I remember how perfect Porter was, his blonde hair and precious nose. I remember the sunlight appearing suddenly, and drenching the hospital room as we said the Lord's Prayer. I remember the horror, I remember the grace. 

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A couple of weeks ago, our Pastor preached a sermon called "Living Fully Alive" that resonated with me in many ways. I spent the entire sermon wishing I was sitting right next to Stephan and Johannah, as Quintin preached about having a relentless Faith in all circumstances. 

"Faith is revealed to you in the moments of life."

"Faith is what we live in when nothing else works."

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"When everything around us is coming apart but we are not, that is faith."

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It is my constant prayer for Stephan, Johannah, and their families to feel the grace and comfort of God's healing during this time. While our hearts break, the Lord promises us that there is always great joy ahead. Rest in peace, sweet Porter. We love you.